I love how no matter what the circumstances I go through the Lord allows me to better understand them after they have passed. Seeing as he doesn't even have to let me in on His workings I find that very reflective of His character. The semester is almost over! I cannot believe how FAST it has gone by! I have a chemistry exam tomorrow morning and a anatomy exam tuesday (which i need an 80 or higher on so if your reading this.. pray!!!) then I am home bound! I was reading today and came upon a verse I've read time and time again:
1 Peter 5:7 cast all your cares upon Him, because he cares about you.
If there is a common lesson I've learned over and over this semester it would be this one. The Lord has broken me down, corrected me, revealed His character to me more, and taught me. I have had my fair share of days this semester when I felt completely unenjoyable, uncomfortable, unsatisfied, unhappy. There have been days of nothing but what feels like spiritual warfare this semester and i've been constantly reminded by the Lord to give it to Him, let Him deal with it because HE LOVES ME.
I have the hardest time being told what to do. I really struggle being ok while being under the control of someone else and having no say or choice in what my live looks like. The girl in me desires to plan! To know what is ahead, and to be organized. I've learned so much this semester and the best way I know to remember them is to make a list.
I've learned:
-That planning and having faith cannot and DO NOT go together.
-The importance of spending time in Gods word daily, I cannot be changed unless I saturate myself in scripture.
-God wants to be sought after, He wants me to love him, to seek him with all of my heart: the same way I long to be desired, so does he.
-God desires me, he wants me, he loves me, and he is jealous for ME!! because of that he will not let me be truly satisfied by anything or anyone else. : "I the Lord your God am a jealous God who will not share your affection with any other god!" Ex. 20:5
-That I can study, I can be productive, I can learn chemistry and memorize every bone in the body!
-There is a void in my heart left from dad that the Lord is still working to fill. Because of that void I have to be on my guard about idols, I have to keep my eyes on the Lord and wait, in patience for Him to fill it and be teachable while he does so.
-I am incredibly blessed. Because of the Lord in my life, I am rich. I learned to need to be more generous and give away what was never really mine in the first place.
- It's not about me, my life is not even about me, my relationships, my efforts, my dreams and goals are all from Him and because of that, for Him.
-My needs and the Lords riches fit together. I was designed and created to depend on the Lord, my needs were created so that I would go to the Lord to fulfill them. If i go to outside sources, I've missed what God has for my life.
There have been so many clear lessons this semester that have been revealed to me. I need God. That is probably the biggest, simplest, lesson. I've always heard it but don't think i have ever meditated and saturated myself with that truth. I cannot be effective without His guidance in my life. And i want to be effective! I want to impact the lives of others I want my college years to be years that i grow the most! Years where the foundation of my relationship with the Lord is laid. After the start to a rocky semester I feel that I can now say with confidence that I am where I need to be and I am chasing after the right things, for the right reasons, and expecting great results for my future.
