What is it about the future that seems so.. appealing? That seems so much "better" than our current situation? The first three months of my so called "new life" as a college student have been filled with lesson after lesson and if i'm honest (which is what i promise to be while blogging) most days i find myself struggling to survive! Everything is so new! so fresh! yet at the same time so completely uncomfortable and not very fun. Each time i blog i really am going to try to focus on a growing pain, a lesson learned or a lesson I'm learning. For this blog the lesson is:
The uncomfortable is necessary.
I have discovered i have a hard time being at peace and being content with where i am. When i was little, i couldn't wait to be 16 and have my license, a boyfriend and boobs!! In high school i couldn't wait to be a senior.. in all honestly i really disliked high school, really really disliked high school. Those years were so awkward. My sophmore year i struggled through depression and learning to forgive. My junior and senior year ended up being a total emotionally draining blur with finally loving my dad and then having him taken away. (Although i gained him spiritually! Praise God). And now that i'm in college i yet again, can't wait to be DONE with school for good and get married. Walking from class back to my dorm one day it hit me... Every situation i find myself in I can't wait to get out of. And what a shame that is. I probably missed out on so many opportunities the Lord had for me in high school because i was too self consumed with focusing on future plans that i completely missed what He had for me right then. This has created so many problems in my life right now and especially with my walk with the Lord. So i ask myself.. why cant i just be happy where i am? Why cant i just be satisfied right here right now and for once like my surrounds, and get on board with God with what he has for me RIGHT NOW. Its as if i think God has made a mistake by placing me here and I forget time and time again that my life is His life. My dreams and desires were given to me by Him and maybe just maybe he wants me here at Liberty, uncomfortable, homesick, constantly feeling like i have to study, often lonely and struggling with feeling settled so I can realize my need for Him.
The uncomfortable is necessary. God know's, he understands, there is not an emotion i could feel that he has not already felt. God created emotion for goodness sake, I can definitely trust that feeling uncomfortable is part of his plan for my life right now. In my past when i've learned the most is when i've been uncomfortable and honestly desperate for God. I was desperate for God to change my heart when i learned what forgiveness meant, i was DESPERATE for God to show up and save my dad when i learned that ALL things work together for good and I want to be that desperate for God every day of my life because its then that i learn. So right now im learning that while im uncomfortable i can be desperate for God to move in my life and change my heart about certain situations right now. I can realize that I need him every single day of my life and i need Him in a real, tangible way.
to conclude: The uncomfortable is necessary in order to realize that I need God, I cant and was not made to do life alone. Without passionately perusing Him I loose myself in the world and I forget who I am made for, I forget what I stand for I forget what the difference Christ has made in my life and I forget how to embrace my current situations and appreciate where it is I find myself today.
until next time,
love me.
Savannah! I stumbled upon this blog entry today and it really hit me hard! Indeed the uncomfortable is necessary sometimes to break us out of what we might think is our comfort zone and draw us closer to the Lord. This is exactly how I felt when Andrew and I moved to Asheville. I really struggled (and still do many days) having to make a new life outside of Atlanta, the city I grew up in and had so many stories, connections, and memories. I often spend so much time comparing my life in Atlanta to my new life in Asheville that I forget that moving to Asheville was part of His perfect plan, purpose, and future for me. The Lord has brought us to Asheville to serve him in a new and different way than we did in Atlanta and I don't want to miss a minute of what He has in store for me this very moment! Cant wait to see what He does in your life on a daily basis at Liberty!
ReplyDeleteSo true! Sometimes all I can think about is getting out of school already and being married and having babies...thats all i want in the long run after all...but let us not forget what God is doing in the here and now to prepare us for the then and later. love you girl!
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